Monday, June 27, 2005


Wow, its hard to believe only one more Chemo treatment left. Started the morning off at 0830 this morning at the Cancer Center. They had blood drawn and took x-rays of my chest. My blood counts were very good. White count was up to 14.2 which is high. It normally runs 4.7-10. This is the highest it has been since I started. The lowest it has been is 2.2. I only have to have two booster shots between now and the next treatment. The nurse said that is real good, most people require a lot more booster shots. My x-rays came back good. The doctor said that I was going to finish treatment as originally prescribed. That means I get to take my last chemo treatment with all the goodies in it. He asked what I did this last weekend and I told him I took my daughter camping and rode jet skis all weekends. He looked at me like I was nuts. He asked if I wore a lot of sunscreen, and I told him I did. Amy came by the hospital on her lunch break. Julie, Mallory , and Avery came by to visit at treatment. My dad, Todd and Tanner also stopped in.

Im feeling ok right now Im just so excited about being done with chemo on July 11th. Its been one hell of a trip. I cant believe I made it this far. It easy to sit an write about how you make it through it but actually living it is something else. Cancer patients are hero's, all of them. Im so proud of myself and have learned more since March 17th than I have learned my entire life.

I also had a fellow Hodgkins killer visit me today. His name is Jeff and he is about my age. I think we are the only two Hodgkin's patients in the Wichita Cancer center. He just finished his chemo about a month ago. He was stage 4 and endured 15 rounds of ABVD chemo. He was so positive. He also said he has learned a lot, and lives life a lot different now. He had to stop chemo one treatment prior to his prescribed 16 treatments. He lost 40% of his lung function and was told he may only recover to 80%. He told the doctor he will get it all back and he said he feels great. Jeff finds out In July if he has to have a bone marrow transplant or if he is finished with treatments. Lets all say a prayer is he done and can get on with a cancer free life.

Also had to take my work dog "Moose" to the vet today. He had an allergic reaction to something. He got a shot and took some benedryl. How ever you spell it. Ended up having a long conversation with my vet. Turns out he is a lymphoma cancer survivor also. He won his fight many years ago. Its good to talk to survivors mainly because they have survived and also because they know what your going through. Like I have said many times cancer sucks and it is one of mans biggest enemies. However, cancer also makes people very strong it makes person thankful for life. I hope that I can continue to live and think like I do now for the rest of my life. I am thankful for a second chance.

I said it in the beginning your positive attitude is everything. Your mind is a powerful thing. I had about 3-4 rough weeks where I wasn't as positive as I should have been and its was the period I was the sickest. Nothing is going to get me down now Im too close to remission.

Thought for the day, " In the end have no regrets and make choices you can live with". God doesn't answer all your prayers nor does he make decisions for you. He gives you choices. As you live life you encounter forks in the road. Its up to you to make the right decision. If you take the wrong road you will live with your decision until YOU fix it.

Thanks to everyone. You all have made the journey much more comfortable.

Still kicking Cancers ass and its about time for the knockout.

There is a good Hodgkins survivor story under cancer survivor in links section.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

JUNE 23RD 2005

Nothing much new to report. Been feeling better, but still not 100%. Looking foward to the weekend and my next treatment on Monday. Ready to get it over with. After that just one left. Have a good weekend will update everyone on Monday.

When you come to the edge of all the light you know and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown. Faith is knowing one of two things will happen. There will be something solid to stand on or you will learn how to fly.
--Author Unknown--


Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Here are a couple of things to look at.

Some people are like Slinkies...Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age."I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this"time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.
I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."She concluded her speech by courageously singing "TheRose."She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's
never too late to be all you can possibly be. These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He ! will bring you through it. "Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

Monday, June 20, 2005


Started feeling better late Friday Afternoon. At least the nausea had stopped by then. Worked all weekend. Been having shortness of breath and get winded pretty easy. It may be related to the Bleomycin. They call it Bleo toxicity. I will have X-rays taken of my chest first thing next Monday before my next treatment. If there is a problem they may remove that drug from my Chemo. From what I have read about 1 in 4 people on ABVD have lung damage. It is usually temporary and the lungs repair them self with time. I only have 3 weeks left. I will be done July 11th with Chemo. I am going to find out this Monday when I start Radiation. There is usually a 1-2 week break in between. I may be getting a little overconfident but plans have begun on the I kicked cancers ass, chemos done, radiations done, survived divorce, house warming PARTY. Starting to sound like a country song. Amy and I are taking Mallory and Amy's daughter Jessica camping this Saturday. I think it will be Mallory's first camping trip. She can't wait to ride the seadoo. Also Amy cleaned my house for me this past weekend. Those little things help a ton and it probably wasn't a little thing either.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


Wish I had something new to report, however the week after chemo blues remain. Sleeping pills have been helping to get some rest. Nausea seems to get worse with each round. I think I have tried all the meds they have and none seem to work much better than the other. Time seems to be the only healer. It's Thursday, so by Saturday I will hopefully be feeling much better. Have continued working and only missed two days of work so far. Still have hair and still losing some of the weight that I gained at first. My doctor said that the main side affect of ABVD chemo these days is fatigue, or that is what is most reported. He said prior to 1992 it was nausea and vomiting. He said patients used to throw up when they would see him in public prior to the advances in nausea meds. Its 2005 and I could still throw up on him. I can start to see the light, about 2 months left and this will be memories. They say if all the scans are good after chemo and radiation goes as planned I will be in remission. Five years without a relapse I can say I'm cured. What a lucky guy I will be and I can never forget that!!!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Tips for Cancer Patients, Friends and Family

Through some of my research I have gathered information that I think is very important. This information is for people fighting cancer and their friends and family. I have chosen some tips that I feel would be most beneficial. The purpose of this site is not just to tell my story. This site is to help others who are fighting cancer and their families. I knew nothing about cancer when this started and my family knew very little. Though my journey is long and has been tough, the knowledge I have gained is worth every step I have taken good or bad. Hopefully these tips will help new cancer patients, and their families to make their journey a little easier.


1) Keep in touch. Send cards, hats, or any message of hope.

2) Provide home cooked meals that they can freeze and eat later.

3) Gift certificates to area restaurants.

4) Cash is helpful for miscellaneous needs, medical bills, etc.

5) Gift boxes with movies, popcorn, and candy.

6) Fund raisers ( Dinners with raffles and Door prizes).

7) Seek out positive survivor stories and share them.

8) Don't assume a person with cancer wants to be left alone.

9) Stay connected. Take the time to make contact or visit cancer patient. Just knowing people are there helps.


1) Relax while taking treatments, bring friends and family along. Don't think that the drugs are toxic

2) The cost of the treatments are overwhelming even with insurance. Remember you are worth it.

3) You will not have all the bad symptoms they list.

4) Stay ahead of nausea. Take meds before you feel sick. Try new drugs if one doesn't work for you.

5) Chewing on ice during treatments can help prevent mouth sores.

6) If your tired "REST". Chemo is some tough stuff. Let other people help you. When you get down remember LIFE IS WORTH THE FIGHT.

7) WASH YOUR HANDS a lot. Your white blood count will get very low and you can get sick easy.

8) Pamper and reward yourself. Take small trips during chemo and plan a I kicked cancers ass party and vacation after its all over. You deserve it.

9) Avoid toxic people, negative people they are out there.

10) Never lose faith or hope. Believe in miracles...

Monday, June 13, 2005



Only two more to go and I will be chemo free. Met with doctor this morning at 0830 hours. They drew blood and tested it. My counts were way up to a 14 for my White Blood Count. That's above normal and up from 6.2 last treatment. So the booster shots are working. Mallory and Avery thought the shots were pretty interesting until I had to stick myself. They ran into their bedroom before that happened. The doctor prescribed me some new nausea medicine I think it was Reglan. I told the nurse and she rolled her eyes and gave me a new box of Zofran. Zofran is the new expensive medicine so I'm thankful my nurse likes me. He also prescribed me sleeping pills. Ambien is the drug of choice. I hope they work I cant remember the last good night of sleep I have had. The doctor examined my neck. I asked him about the swelling still present there. He said the swelling is from the surgery and from his examination there are no longer any swollen lymph nodes in that area. They are gone. That's a good sign. Told him I have experienced some shortness of breath. He said they will do x-rays before next treatment to check lungs. It is pretty common for one of the chemo drugs to cause lung damage. So people have to have that one drug pulled out of treatments towards the end. We will see what happens. Had several visitors to the chemo room today. Tami Barker and John Walton visited. Amy was there for most all of the treatment.

The treatment went Okay. It was fairly quick. I didn't eat and had a sip of water during the treatment. Feeling tired, stomach hurts and a massive headache now that I have returned home. Other than that life is great.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

JUNE 9TH 2005

Not much to report today. I feel 100% better today. So I guess maybe I will get a few good days until treatment #6 on Monday. It amazing how you can feel terrible for 8 days then wake up the next day and feel better than ever. Everybody have a great weekend and I will report back Monday.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


I was sitting around and a little bored, on top of that feel like shit today. Its been eight days since my last treatment and just having a hard time getting back to normal. I feel good for about 4-5 hours then wham back to "chemo feel like crap land". Just thinking of treatments is enough to make me throw up. Its the smell of all those chemicals. I can smell things I never smelled before. Its like being a dog I would guess since their sense of smell is 44x better than ours. I keep saying only three more treatments. Im just ready to feel better and getting a little impatient with Mr. Cancer. I must remember chemo is my friend, without it I wouldnt have a chance. So with that said I will continue my journey down this path that will bring me health, life, and eventually a cold beer I can enjoy. Im having a " I kicked cancer's ass party" when this is over. Well I will stop complaining because in reality I dont have much to complain about..

Monday, June 06, 2005



Just returned from the the doctor to get blood work done. Having a hard time getting back to normal from last treatment. Have been experiencing nausea off and on since treatment a little more than normal. Have not been sleeping very well last several nights. Its like your so tired you feel like you can't stay awake but you lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours. Overall I'm just counting down the days til July 11th my last treatment. What I wouldn't give to just feel normal again. Still have not lost my hair and won't now. Starting to lose some of the weight I gained with first few treatments. I think I was down four pounds at last weigh in. Mallory and Avery will be over tonight and Tuesday and this weekend. They will be moving to Wellington soon and I don't really know what to say about that. I want to thank my Dad, Renae and my mom who have helped me recently with paying some of my medical bills. On top of dealing with the cancer that gets pretty overwhelming and their support has made it easier. Happy birthday again to Amy she is nursing a sunburn today a little to much laying out over the weekend. Also Amy's sister Julie and her husband Jim are proud parents of a new baby girl. I will update you on the name later don't want to get it wrong.

Sunday, June 05, 2005


The following was found on a website and pretty much sums up how to beat cancer. I think the part about staying focused is very important. Its easy to get caught up in things that don't matter or you have no control over. Believe me I have done it. I have let hate and people consume me in the past. More than ever I know that person is not worthy of my time. Forgiving is more about yourself than the person you forgive.

Ways to Beat Cancer

1. Be prepared for a marathon. It will be a long fight so pace yourself. Be prepared to go at it
alone if necessary, but get ready to go the distance.

2. Don't expect others to do as you do and do not hold others up to your standards. Not every-
one can go the distance with you. People will come and go as best they can. Accept what they
can give you when they can.

3. Conduct yourself in your everyday life in a manner that will give you no reason or excuses for
your behavior when you look back on this time. Make the present so you have no regrets.
Don't drink to much or take drugs that are not needed. Be a leader.

4. Have hero's. Be inspired by your hero's, and be inspiration to others around you.
You may be their hero.

5. FIGHT. Fight 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Fight when you wake up until you go to bed.
Dream about fighting. Want to win.

6. Willpower. Have it. Tell yourself you will get better every day and believe it. Aspire to be
great and expect nothing but victory. Refuse to lose or be defeated. You will stumble but a
champion always rises. Be a champion.

7. Stay Focused. Do not fight battles that do not need fighting and take you away from this fight.

8. Hate it. Hate cancer like nothing you have ever hated before. Life is good. Love life.

9. Have no mercy, no pity, no compassion til every cell is dead. Rejoice with every victory.

10. When in doubt fight it out. You won't win if you stop fighting. It's ok to be afraid but don't
stop fighting. It's ok to cry.

11. Most of all always walk proud. Maintain the strength on the inside. It's better to die like a
lion than live like a lamb.


Wednesday, June 01, 2005



I have had people request how to get the Lance Armstrong type wristbands for cancer awareness. I had ordered several but I am out now. I think it would be easier to give you the information on where to order them from and you can purchase one if interested. At one time I was going to order a bunch and give them to people that donated to this site and to Lymphoma Society but that never really took off. I will add a link to this site you can go to and order one. The lime green bands are for Lymphoma and they run about $2.00 each. The link is called Choose Hope.