Monday, January 09, 2006

JANUARY 9TH 2006 UPDATE

Have not posted much lately and thought I would just give a little post treatment update for those still following along.

I guess that sometimes survivng cancer can be just as big as adjustment as being diagnosed. There are a lot of people that struggle even after the battle has been won. Im lucky that everything has gone pretty well.

I can say sometimes life was much easier when I was fighting cancer. I know thats sounds weird but its true. All you think about is beating cancer and all the people around you. You dont think about work, bills, all those little things in life. Its all about living. You know I talked a lot about how people who never experienced being diagnosed with a life threatning disease could not understand how much we all take life for granted. Im not sure that a person that has been diagnosed still fully understands it.

I guess what Im saying is certain events just cant make it happen. Its still up to you to make the choices. Easier said than done. I have struggled with a lot of things in the past few years. Divorce, not seeing my girls as much, ex-wife, ex-wives boyfriend, financial stability, cancer.

Sure I have no control over a lot of what has happened but I do have control of how I handle these things that have happened. I guess I expected I would come out of this fight and everything else would fall into place but it didnt. The struggles in life are still there. My divorce has been a cancer in my life I fight it everyday. It amazing how I can let the actions of two people affect my life more than a disease in my own body. Thats the point we should'nt.
We must forgive people for there wrongs, not for them, but for ourselves. Its time to leave that behind and celebrate whats ahead.

In the end you can have everything in the world thrown at you, and can spend the rest of your life unhappy blaming the people that throw this stuff, or you can beat it and go on.

I guess cancer has taught me something. It just took a while for it to sink in.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Deborah said...

Jason,
What a past couple of years it has been for you. I have watched you grow so much thru all of this. I pray that their is nothing but blue skies ahead for you. All our love and prayers are with you.
Love
Deborah

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Todd and Tami said...

Jason;
I am really in awe about the feelings you share on this site. Your last posting really was something I hope you can continue to do everyday. You live YOUR life. Quit letting "the Ex" run it or live it for you. She will always try to be in control of you, but only YOU can let her know that she can't do that.
What a survivor you are! and even though with your cancer you lived life differently didn't you learn something from that? Live life to the fullest - live it the way YOU want to and not how everyone else thinks you should!
What a wonderful woman you have found now - she loves you deeply and accepts you for YOU - she doesn't want you to be someone your not, which isn't what you experienced in your marriage.
We love you and will always be there for you. "Cruisin" in 3 weeks - I am quite positive many a drink will be toasted to you and what you have been through and survived!!
We love you!

11:37 AM  
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