Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Radiation has begun again. I recieved my first of 17 treatments today. The area I am having treated is about the size of an index card. It is centered vertically over my belly button. This treatment is much more relaxing than the last round. No Mask. However, I did have to drop the pants to get xrays taken and get final marking done yesterday. At this point I dont really care. I get to keep them on for the actual treatments. Felt a little sick to my stomach after the treatment but nothing too bad. Hopefully it will all go good and I will soon be done with this all.

Spent the weekend in Sioux City, Iowa. I was the best man in Brett Beach's wedding. It was a good get away for Amy and I. I have been friends with Brett since grade school. Congrats to Brett and his wife Jen....

I have planned my party. It is on Oct 22nd at my house.... I will put a invitiation on here soon. So come all...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


I was off to the radiation doctor early this morning after a two week break. We went over any problems I was still having from the first round of radiation to my neck. Everything appeared to be okay. She said she was pleased that my mouth was producing saliva normally and she said my taste will eventually make a full recovery. It better. She said that the treatment to my abdomen should be less eventful. May have some nausea about two weeks in. She said my skin should not be affected in this area like it was on my neck.

After meeting with the doctor they measured and marked me. I had to get three permanent tattoos this time. They are beautiful. One is about 3 inches above my belly button and the other two are at that same level on each side. NO MASK this time I get a pillow instead. That was a relief. I will go in next Monday for a simulation and then I will start radiation treatments Tuesday.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


What have I learned and what is this journey in my life all about. Its hard to explain. In fact, I am not sure I could ever explain it so that a person who has not been diagnosed with a life threating disease could understand it. Nothing against you well people, but I guess its just human nature. The closest way I could try to explain it is 9/11. Remember that day, how could you forget. In reality you don't remember it the way the families of the thousands killed that day do. Before long people went back to living their lives taking everything for granted again. If everybody could learn from terrorist attacks, hurricanes, and sickness what people directly effected by these learn, I do believe the world would be a better place. That will never happen. Why worry about what you don't have to, its easier to play the lottery of life. Its easier to say that will never happen to me. The result, we will continue to have people that don't enjoy the important things in life. People who feel it is alright to be on top at everyone else's expense. People who destroy families because they cant find happiness within themselves. People who will never learn that you can't buy happiness.

I'm in no way perfect, but cancer has changed me. Am I different than I was before? How could I not be. What has cancer changed? It took away the anger from my divorce. I don't have time to worry about something I can't control. I learned that friends that betray you were never your friends anyway. Learned that it is alright to cry and it is alright to be afraid. That's it is okay to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't have to make a lot of money to be happy. I now know who my true FRIENDS are. I learned that chewing tobacco though satisfying, was not a good choice in my life. I was glad to learn that chewing did not cause my cancer, that would have been hard to live with. I know now that nothing is more important than my family. I know there are people out there that care.. I know that I have to take the time to do things I enjoy. That I will always be there for Mallory and Avery no matter what happens or what people say. I learned that it would be very hard to find a girlfriend as wonderful as Amy. I also learned that there is an end. You have to live one day at a time.

Just because I have learned these things and beat cancer it does not mean it is easy to get back into the swing of things. Fighting cancer is mentally and physically exhausting. You don't always feel the same as before or have the same energy. My taste is gone. There will always be thoughts in the back of your mind, " will the cancer come back". I remember shortly before being diagnosed I pulled into my driveway after a day working. On the radio was a fundraiser for a cancer hospital. It had people on the radio telling about their kids that were fighting cancer. There were adults talking about their cancer. I remember it like it was yesterday. They all said, I never thought it would happen to me. Did I take the time to help them out? No, I shut of my truck and continued living life. I never thought it would happen to me.

Monday, September 12, 2005


Game Wardens from several different states are being sent to New Orleans to assist in Law Enforcement duties. Dr. Phil was escorted through the streets of New Orleans by Louisiana fish and game officers today. A lot of people think Game Wardens just check hunting and fishing licenses, but in reality they can enforce all state laws.

I received a call Saturday afternoon from my supervisor. Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks is sending around 10 Game Wardens to assist in New Orleans. I wanted to go but will not be able to because of my upcoming treatments. Just a little info I thought was interesting and its nice not to talk about cancer sometimes
. Go CATS............(KSU)......


Not much to report. My chest is healing well from removal of port. Still no taste to report. Have appointment next week to get tattoo and markings for radiation to my abdomen. Everything else seems to be going alright..

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Yes, my port is gone. Had to be at hospital at 0530 this morning. Surgery was at 0830 and took about 30 minutes. They put me to sleep so it went good. A little sore this evening but it feels so good to have it gone.

I'm doing a little better today. My taste is still gone, but my attitude is back where it should be. I have been told I should not put bad things on this site or talk about what could have happened. However, I think it is important for people to know just how bad Hodgkin's disease can be. Sure if you have to have cancer it is a better one to have, but no cancer is good. Nearly 1500 out of 7000 people who get it each year die. This includes recent information from a web forum that I visit daily. Rachel http://rachel-barnes.memory-of.com/about.aspx, age 22, passed away after fighting Hodgkins for 3 1/2 years. Her mother created the site above it is incredible. It reminds me just how lucky I am.

There are happy stories also. Alese Coco also in her early 20's was given a 10% chance of living one year after her third battle with Hodgkin's. She is alive and through the use of new drugs she is holding her own and killing cancer. Her fight is not over but everyday past one year will be a victory. I have met a lot of people fighting Hodgkin's through the computer. Cancer has changed there life, its made them better people...FIGHT 2 WIN. The majority people with this cancer win, but that does not mean we can forget the ones that don't.

Monday, September 05, 2005


Kinda tired of all this. My taste is still gone. I squirted some of that lemon concentrate in my mouth the other day and NOTHING. I would just like a sign to know its trying to come back. Skin is very dry and sensitive on my neck and face from the radiation. One good thing is that I get my port out Wednesday. So long.......